Ouch!

This is the worst of the damage to the sunflower seedlings. I'm not sure which are worse, the earwigs or the slugs. I am catching a few of each in my beer saucers every night, but I guess more keep coming. Earwigs? They can’t do much damage!, you say. That’s what I thought, until I came out slug hunting one night with my flashlight and found a giant one crouched right on top of a seedling, gnawing. The seedlings are persevering, but I think it’s still touch and go. They’ve lost some pretty major appendages and they’re not growing new ones fast enough.

I went back to Walgreens the other day to pick up another large bottle of Miller High Life, my death poison. A friend from yoga saw me carrying it around the store while I was looking for deodorant for my pubescent boys.
“You look kind of funny with that,” she said bluntly.
“What, oh this?” I waved it toward her. “This is my afternoon drink.”
Then I told her it was really for my slugs. And my earwigs.
“Oh, earwigs,” she said sadly. “They ate my whole garden in southern Oregon.”
Tonight I went out there and didn’t see a single slug. I did see one earwig, but he scurried into his little earwig den. They’re probably all in there now, drinking my Miller High Life from little earwig steins, singing earwig songs.