Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Henry's Magnolia Blossoms


For the last few days, our dining room has been filled with the scent of magnolia. It's not a sweet smell; it's grassy, a bit earthy, almost tangy. It smells like a growing thing. I love the extravagant blossoms, and the yellow-green new leaves almost as much. Our neighbor Henry's tree nestles up against the fence we share, so when his magnolia blooms, it almost seems like our magnolia, too. Every year he likes to offer me some blossoms. Actually the blossoms are his excuse for a little chat over the fence, him tottering on an old wooden ladder, me stretching my hand down off the balcony for the branches. I pass him over some stalks from our cymbidium in bloom. This is our spring ritual.
He is retired and his wife is not well, so he doesn't see too many different people each day. I suspect he watches out the window until me or my husband step out on the deck, and then emerges with his rake to battle his lawn or the clippers to trim his extremely carefully trimmed bushes. But I don't begrudge him ten minutes of chatting. Since he's hard of hearing, the chatting is mostly one-sided (his). I realized he didn't hear too well when I noticed his response to whatever I said was a low chuckle and a nonsequiteur--a comment that had little to do with what I had said. He always likes to comment on how thin I look, which he attributes to our family eating a healthy diet (although he has no idea what we eat). He is concerned with eating healthily because of his wife's ill health and because he is diabetic. Our favorite story about Henry is when he came to the door to return the letter we gave him about our remodeling plans (a requirement for our building permit). He stood on the doorstep holding the letter, and I invited him inside. Once he ascertained that my husband was not at home, he declined my invitation, saying it wouldn't be right.
Henry is turning 80 this May. My husband and I are trying to think of what to get him--something for the garden, since that's where we spend our moments with him--but nothing requiring too much attention. He's already got a lot to take care of.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Paper Hearts

My older son and I had a rocky evening recently. From my perspective, he was being uncommunicative and rude, answering my questions in the least number of syllables possible and giving every verbal and nonverbal sign that he thought my questions were stupid. From his perspective, I was nagging him and treating him like I thought he was incapable of taking care of himself. Typical teenager-mom thing. The last straw was when I had the audacity to suggest that he eat his peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich 45 minutes before his event at the track meet. He growled some reply, and I stomped off into the office, and my husband had to come in and remind me who was the adult here. Not my best moment. But other than his compliments on my cooking (which I do like and which definitely works to keep me turning out the meatloaf and fried chicken and cherry pies) and him consuming every scrap of food that I prepare him, I'm not getting a lot of appreciation.
Then today I was cleaning out a box in the garage and found an envelope addressed to me from his old nursery school. I dumped it out on the ping-pong table and a pile of colored paper hearts poured out. They all said "To Mom From _____." Actually quite a few said "To Mom and Dad" but the great bulk of them were to me. My own heart caught for a moment. I was showered with valentines "To Mom", "To Mom", "To Mom" that I had forgotten in the ensuing 12 years. These hearts did not represent one day's worth of work. These were days' and days', perhaps weeks', worth of cutting and writing. They were an expression of love and a practice of his new skills, over and over again. And in fact, that's how my son does things. All out, one hundred percent, over and over until he has mastered whatever it is and exhausted that particular vein of inspiration. And then on to the next thing. I was really happy to see those hearts. They remind me that even when he's fighting with me, he's saying he loves me and practicing skills at the same time. Practicing breaking away, asserting his independence from me. It's a skill that takes a lot of practice.

Friday, March 7, 2008

The Hug



Today I was dropping my son off at middle school and I saw a boy who had gone to the same elementary school as my son. He was hanging out in front of school, along with a bunch of other kids. Every time I see this boy--and it's only two or three times a year, now--he comes over with a big smile and says hi and gives me a big hug. Today was no exception. It's not because I'm friends with his parents, since I don't know his parents. He is not of the same ethnic or cultural background that I am, which doesn't matter except that it could have been a reason for him to feel distant from me. It's not because he and my son were really good friends; they were in a few classes together, but that's all. Maybe it's because I volunteered in the classroom and the library a lot at the elementary school, so he got used to seeing me around. But this is a seventh grader I'm talking about. I mean, my own son doesn't like it when I acknowledge him at school now. But this boy is good-natured, with a sense of humor and a lot of friends. I guess I'm one of them. That hug carried me through the morning on a happy cloud.

(The photo is a red-breasted nuthatch about to eat a french fry at Alpine Meadows. I can't think what it has to do with this post.)

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

On the Beach

If it wasn't enough that it was a gorgeous, sunny day for my walk on Ocean Beach, there was beach art to look at, too.

I saw people surfing, walking, jogging, fishing, playing with dogs, and just sitting. These folks were watching the ceaselessly moving painting we had all come to see.

Monday, March 3, 2008

What kind of punctuation mark are you?

Okay, it's all Susan's fault. I couldn't bear knowing she was a comma without knowing what I was! It turns out, I'm a semicolon. (And as an editor, I quibble with the unnecessary hyphen in the word "semicolon" below.) Now I bet you want to find out what you are.




You Are a Semi-Colon



You are elegant, understated, and subtle in your communication.

You're very smart (and you know it), but you don't often showcase your brilliance.



Instead, you carefully construct your arguments, ideas, and theories until they are bulletproof.

You see your words as an expression of yourself, and you are careful not to waste them.



You friends see you as enlightened, logical, and shrewd.

(But what you're saying often goes right over their heads.)



You excel in: The Arts



You get along best with: The Colon

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Sprouts


You can see 'em, right? My radish sprouts? These incredibly hardy vegetables sprung up in five days. If you want instant gratification, plant radishes. After they sprung, we had a week of rain, including some very hard downpours. Not a one was broken or even bent. Now they are turning a deep green, and beginning their first set of real leaves. The carrot seeds that I planted at the same time will still take another week to come up, I predict. Chervil and arugula seeds are up, too, but still too tiny to photograph. No sign of the peas. I'll give them another week.
When I was looking around online for seed companies, I found The Seed Site. This inspiring site has photographs of 600 different kinds of seeds--shot in a 1-inch circle for scale--and 600 seedlings, plus tons of information and advice about saving seeds, germination methods and times, and more. So if you find some kind of mysterious volunteer seedling in your garden, or a yellowed envelope of seeds, you have a hope of identifying them. I notice the germination times on the site are longer than what it says on the seed packet. Hmmm. Patience is rewarded.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Omnivore's Dilemma

Photo: "Ham is Spain" by Julie Lemberger. (The little cups on the ends of these hams hanging in a bar in Spain are to catch the drips of fat that run down the hams on a warm day so they don't drop down your neck.)

Michael Pollan is not trying to turn his readers in to vegetarians in his book The Omnivore's Dilemma. In fact, after trying vegetarianism for a limited period as part of his research for this book, he concludes that he has too many philosophical and practical objections to embrace it for himself. But it is impossible to read the book without confronting what you buy and eat more directly, which is his goal. Or maybe his goal is to establish a new right (and responsibility): the right to look at what you are buying and how it is raised and processed and then decide for yourself. I think this paragraph is the essence of his book:
The industrialization--and brutalization--of animals in America is a relatively new, evitable, and local phenomenon: No other country raises and slaughters its food animals quite as intensively or as brutally as we do. No other people in history has lived at quite so great a remove from the animals they eat. Were the walls of our meat industry to become transparent, literally or even figuratively, we would not long continue to raise, kill, and eat animals the way we do. Tail docking and sow crates and beak clipping would disappear overnight, and the days of slaughtering four hundred head of cattle an hour would promptly come to an end--for who could stand the sight? Yes, meat would get more expensive. We'd probably eat a lot less of it, too, but maybe when we did eat animals we'd eat them with the consciousness, ceremony, and respect they deserve.
I can't verify his assertion about America brutalizing animals our animals most, so I don't know if it's true. But this paragraph, and his thoughts about America's lack of a single traditional food culture, and his extended account of hunting for a feral pig in Sonoma County in order to be able to serve a meal that he had grown, foraged for, or hunted himself, kept making me think of Spanish ham. Alongside the frozen pizzas and shrink-wrapped hamburgers and copas de maize (Cornflakes) in Spanish supermarkets exists a deeply entrenched traditional culture around food, and at the heart of this culture is jamon iberico--the highest quality serrano ham, made from a special breed of pig, the pata negra--that in my experience is nearly always eaten with consciousness, ceremony and respect, perhaps in part because of its price tag but also because of what it represents for Spaniards. I'm not saying that Spaniards would be any more eager than Americans to know how that shrink-wrapped hamburger lived and was killed and processed. But I do think Spaniards have a clearer idea than we do of how and what to eat that is grounded in their cultural tradition.

I remember how in my Spanish class at a business institute in a tony Barcelona neighborhood, my teacher set down her dry-erase pen and turned away from the whiteboard with a serious look in her eyes. She was a svelte, stylish woman in her early 30s who liked to tell us about her shopping trips to Paris for the weekend, but what she was going to tell us now was not frivolous. "We have been discussing vocabulary for food, organized by food groups, such as fruits and vegetables, grains, dairy, meats, etc.," she told us in Spanish. "But what I am going to discuss now it is in a food group all its own." She paused for effect. "It is ham." And for the next 20 minutes she lectured us on the pata negra, how it is raised, how it is killed, how the ham is cured, how to tell the good quality from the poor, how it should be stored, sliced, and eaten. I actually still have my notes from that class, so I know that she concluded with the following statement: "In fact, jamon iberico is just about the most healthy thing you can eat."

The profound importance of ham as an expression of Spanish culture came back to me when my husband, upon leaving his job in Spain to return home, received his parting gift: a whole ham (see photo above) We had to eat it all before we left the country because it would not pass customs. During out time in Spain, I had come to observe that eating ham in Spain represents a connection to the land, which nourishes the oaks that produce the acorns upon which the pata negra feed. It represents small villages, and their traditional air-drying curing methods without chemicals or impurities. It--and much of Spanish cuisine--represents a certain ritualized way of dining slowly and convivially, taking the time to prepare dishes the way they have always been prepared, recalling Spain's connections to other Mediterranean cultures but also its own special peninsular nature. It may be largely symbolic, but eating a large lunch at 2 pm every day reaffirms for Spanish people who they are.

Pollan's "perfect meal," which he himself acknowledges is impractical and largely symbolic, is an attempt at this kind of affirmation, in almost a spiritual sense. Questions regarding who we are in relation to what we eat underlie Pollan's book: Is this who we are? Is this who we want to be? The (in the words of the owner of the sustainably-farmed Polyface Farm) "...amalgamated, irradiated, genetically prostituted, bar-coded, adulterated, fecal spam from the centralized processing conglomerate."? No!

Pollan's point is that examining how our food is produced, examining in fact the whole food chain from our food's origin until it arrives at our table, can also reaffirm who we are as people, and our relationship to the other living things--vegetable, human, animal, even fungal--that live on this planet. Living in the Bay Area, I am lucky to have many places to buy food where I can learn something about where it came from and how it was raised, even if some of those "stories" are a bit more rosy-hued than reality (like "Rosie the Free-Range Chicken" who never ventures outside of her coop, as Pollan discovers). But I can always dig deeper, and make more conscious choices. I'm so relieved I don't have to be a vegetarian, I'll make the extra effort.

My one reservation is that I enjoy eating many different kinds of foods. For me, one of the joys of being American is being able to partake of and experience many different cultures in my daily life, every day. So, affirming my American identity through food means making burritos one night, going out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant the next night, and cooking my Grandma's Swedish pancakes on Saturday morning. We may not have one single tradition of food, but I love our multiplicity of food cultures. I'm not willing to give that up, even if I'm not always able to know as much as I'd like about where it this bewildering array of food comes from.